Dysfunction Junction

Well....after harassment from the Depressionista and Itchy Tingle, I am getting off of my fat ass (or sitting on it, as the case may be) and writing another post.

Christmas is over. The best moments were last Friday night--A fabulous Girl's Night with Depressionista and Pioneer Girl was held. Tree skirts were presented from Pioneer Girl--which can be seen on Depressionista's blog. Bad movies were watched. Food was eaten. No men or children were involved.

Christmas day. My husband, child and I went to my parents' house for the day. Present were my parents, both of my brothers and their significant others and my looney sister. I don't know that I have ever mentioned my sister in blob world yet. Probably because I am in continual denial that I am actually related to her. I can spend about half an hour with her before I go totally looney myself. I had to spend roughly 4-6 hours with her that day. My diagnosis of her is Borderline Personality Disorder. She spent most of the visit trying to tell my sister-in-law how to take care of her puppy. "does he need to go out?" "is he hungry?" over and over again. This was followed by her miriad of health complaints. Luckily, I didn't hear her say "I am thinking about adopting kids because I can't have them because of all of the medication I am on." Lets see if I can do the list of ailments: severe allergies, fibromylagia (spelling??), digestion issues due to having her gall bladder removed, restless leg syndrome, she wears some sort of retainer all of the time which gives her a constant speech impediment, hand tremors. All of this is besides the mental illness which she doesn't even seem to be aware of. And of course, her husband (yes, she is married) did not come to Christmas because he has his own health issues, which I think boil down to bulimia and mental health shit. The man is constantly throwing up and he weighs maybe ninety pounds soaking wet. My sister also insists on ending her first name with a "y" even though a "y" has no business of being there...I guess she thinks it is cute. I just want to puke myself...right along side her husband.

Luckily, my sister-in-law was there. I love my sister-in-law who I will refer to as "B". I am so happy that a normal, fun loving woman was atleast wed into the family. B turned to me and said "where is that bottle of wine?" We cracked it open and drank the bottle between the both of us. Out of ear shot, B asked me if my crazy sister was always trying to tell me how to parent my child when he was a baby. I told her that "unfortunately, yes she was" and that, on several occasions I turned to her and said "HE IS FINE"--and this got her to shut up. B was happy to know that I had snapped at her.

You know what really bums me out in life? That you have absolutely no choice in who you are related to. It just happens and you can really get the fucking short end of the stick. I have had to create my own "sisters" and I thank the gods for all of you every day, Depressionista, Pioneer Girl, Itchy Tingle, and my work spouse. You guys are awesome.