Crikey!! The Animal World Gets Revenge!

I know that I am "insensitive" and possibly even a “feminist bitch”…and I probably have a spot reserved in hell. But I firmly believe in my right to free speech.

I have to say that I was not surprised to hear that Steve Irwin, the great Crocodile Hunter, was taken out by a stingray when I turned on Good Morning America earlier in the week. I had actually thought to myself, on several occasions when I had caught glimpses of him on Animal Planet, “Some day that freak is going to fuck with some really grumpy creature and that will be his demise”. And, I was right. I have always had a problem with the way that he went about taunting animals “in the name of conservation”. Not just subdued, furry little animals. But animals that can actually KILL you. So I have been somewhat surprised by the overall reaction to his death. Atleast, the reaction represented in the media—I have only heard one other person with a similar view as mine and she was crucified for making statements such as this.

I have had great admiration for “nature guys” like Marlon Perkins and David Attenborough. I spent hours watching Mutual of Omahas Wild Kingdom as a child. Those guys had a real respect for nature. They didn’t have a need to wrestle it or taunt it. Just look at it, and maybe relocate a few chosen animals to a safer location. They knew when they were over their heads and when they needed to take a step back from Mother Nature.

I can’t help myself. I am on the side of the stingray. Most of the time, I find myself siding with the animals. And I find myself embarassed to be a “human being”, as we go about trashing the planet that we have to live on and expect it to keep supporting our decadent lifestyles. Maybe that is one point I would agree with Steve Irwin on—the conservation point. But man, if you think you can be in the face of a crocidile or stingray—or any other large animal with large teeth and/or barbs and an extreme temper, and not get killed or atleast injured, you are an idiot. My home team will continue to be the animals!! Stingray 1-Steve Irwin-0!

A Corn Popper....

This is what I have become this week. I have become the proud owner of a corn.
This picture is not of my actual corn....I wasn't ambitious enough to take a picture of my own. But this is a picture of a corn I found on a website when I was trying to determine exactly what this huge, red, oozing, painful thing that has taken up residence on my middle toe of my right foot. I have never, in my life, had a corn before. And I am hope this is the last time.

Those of you that know me well, know that I am "picker"--I love to pick zits, blackheads, in grown hairs, anything that has some what of a rewarding expulsion. It has taken me a good part of my 35 years of existence to take ownership of this. Luckily for my husband, he has strong boundaries against anyone else picking his blemishes. He has never allowed me to pick any ripe ones on his back, and believe me, I have asked and have even thought maybe I could get away with this while he is sleeping. But then I remember he sleeps much lighter than myself and that would be an awfully rude awakening.

So this corn has presented me with a wide range of emotions in the realm of picking. First of all, in my research, I discovered that a corn is a callus that is so thick that the body has decided it is a foreign body and has begun the process of rejecting it. They are usually caused by pressure--shoes that are too tight, etc. That, I guess, is where the oozing comes in...and my overwhelming desire to squeeze the hell out of it. The first few times it has been rather rewarding. A substance comes out like I have never encountered from my body, a clear gel. Not mucus but more like a jelly. It was exciting at first, but now I find it just to be a bit of a let down. I keep hoping for the ultimate explosion. It looks so big...I just think that there has got to be something else good in there.

Depressionista shares my love of "picking". We had a "girls night" recently and she just had to witness a "popping of the corn". Like me, I think she found it to be interesting at first but then there was a let down. Depressionista and I took a trip to one of the local Targets and purchased some corn removal stuff. I have no idea if this stuff will work but it smells caustic, like it could eat through my foot if I happened to get a drop too much on it. It has been a couple of days since I started the "treatment". A looks a little smaller and I guess eventually it is just suppose to fall off.

My advice to anyone who ends up with a corn would probably be to "leave it alone" as my mother would have said to me if she would have seen me baring down on the thing. But I really dont think you have truly lived until you have had a corn...or at least you have been living and wearing bad shoes....I gotta go check for more oozing...