A Moment of Stupidity...

You know, you would think by now, at the ripe old age of 35 I would not do such stupid things. Let me start by saying I spent my morning hemming up what I call "my airplane suit", a very cumfy light blue velour jogging suit. This outfit has quite history. I bought it to wear on the plane for our trip to Amsterdam. And of course, on the plane ride Aunt Flo decided to make an appearance--just a slight drop of red on the underwear at that point. I thought I had time. So I let it go...by the time we arrived at the hotel in Amsterdam the entire crotch was ruby red and I was amazed that I did not have Dutch people staring at me in horror. But I managed to do quite the soaking job and there is no sign of Aunt Flo any more. Anyway--they have been way too long from the get go and have had brown stains at the bottom from walking on them, I trimmed them up and did a nice hem job.

Stupid thing I did this morning. I can't leave burning candles/melting candles alone. I have one of those warming units for candles. Its electric and plugs in. I put a new candle in this morning. I put my airplane suit on. Then decided to push on the candle after it had been in the warmer for about an hour and a half melting. My finger burst through the top of the candle, shooting hot, dark brown, coffee scented wax all over my hand and my awesome light blue velour airplan suit jacket.

I just spent some time looking up how to get rid of candle wax from clothing. I found a web site: http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf489746.tip.html. It has the old iron trick mentioned. I guess I will be spending the next hour of my morning trying to rescue the airplane suit jacket! As my mother would say, "first you play , then you pay". I will let you know how the iron method works.

Eating healthy update: Thanksgiving is a bitch if you want to eat healthy. And of course, my husband's mother had to send half of a cake home with us for his birthday. I need to stop eating it. But yesterday I had sushi, water, and hot tea for lunch and soup for supper. I am climbing back up on the wagon, slowly but surely.

Toe update: The damn cyst is still oozing. Looks like cauterizing may be in my future. I see Dr. C this week. I will let you know how that goes.

A Light Bulb Moment....

as Oprah would say. I tend to have moments of inspiration regarding my health and/or psychological well being. Sometimes, they stick around for awhile. Sometimes, they are like ships passing in the night. My thought earlier this week was regarding my physical health/weight.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. It has never come naturally for me to be a thin person. I have always been envious of those people that were born thin and seem to not have to do a damn thing to stay that way. I have had a "thinner" moment here or there. The last time I really think of myself having one of those was about eleven years ago, shortly after I met my husband. I managed to get down to about 147. This was a struggle. It lasted for maybe about 2-3 years--and that was probably at more of about 160. Shortly after my son, I ballooned up to 225 which is a lot for someone who is 5'2" on a good day. Now I am hanging out at about 203.

My brilliant thought was really quite simple and also made me think, "sheesh, why has that thought never crossed my mind before?". The thought was "I should only eat food that is nutritious for me, that is good for my body". Food that will give my body nutrients. So this week I have really put the focus on trying to eat "healthy". I am on day 2 of "Project Eat Nutritious." I have been noticing this week just how much crap I usually eat. I eat because things taste good, because there is food there and I think I don't want to waste it, because I am tired, because it just feels darn good to eat....Rarely, have I ever eaten before to take proper care of my body, to give it what it needs. What I am noticing is that I almost feel like I am going through some sort of withdrawals, since I am not eating nearly as much sugar or carbs. I have been focusing on eating more vegetables, fruits and meats. I also have not been drinking pop. I have been primarily drinking water. My rationale is that I tend to take better care of myself when I look at it from the perspective of adding things to my life instead of taking away things. Instead of telling myself what I should not eat or can't eat, I try to focus on the good things I can add. Don't get me wrong. I am not going to completely deprive myself. That only leads me to a serious binge. So when I get an urge to eat something "not good for my body" I am going to try to do it but in moderation.

I am trying to look at this as any addict would. One day at a time. I am not making any promises one way or another. I just really feel the need to work on getting healthier, with the side benefit of not being so damn fat...and maybe getting to go shopping for some cute clothes, since the cutest clothes seem to be made for skinny girls (thats a whole different blog entry). And I want to be able to run around with my son and not have to catch my breath. I don't want to become a mother that parents from the couch, damn it--and I have caught myself doing that on many occasion.

This is going to be a battle. It took me roughly 35 years to get my eating habits this screwed up. Hopefully, it won't take quite that long to get them at least a little healthier consistently. I have to say that I do feel better about myself when I am doing something about it.

Dr. C, I love you "TOE" much!!

A Toe Update.

After continuing to suffer with this oozing, red, swollen toe for several months, I decided it was finally time to seek some professional help. After all, its not sandal season anymore and boots are a real bitch to wear when are having foot issues. I began this quest with my family doctor who decided, upon viewing it, that I needed to move on to a podiatrist. And, luckily my friend, M, happened to have needed the services of a podiatrist in the past. She recommended that I see Dr C. "He is not just a good podiatrist, but HOT podiatrist. He can hold my foot any day” said M. So when my family doc asked me if I had any preferences, I immediately said that I would like to see Dr C , not "old Dr C" but young C because, of course, this guy is a third generation foot doctor. How does being a foot doctor become a family business?? Anyway, they got me in pretty quick—about a week later, which is amazing in the specialist world.

Last Wed. morning was my appointment and Dr. C was not only physically attractive but he had a calm, humble persona. He immediately looked at my toe and I could tell he was excited about what he was seeing. He began squeezing it and asking me if any stuff had come out of it, etc. Of course, on my way to this appointment, I wondered if it was going to be completely apparent that I had performed bathroom surgery on this thing numerous times and made at least one attempt to squeeze it every day—so when he squeezed it, I felt a little less crazy.
He knew what it was right away. He said it was a mucoid cyst. Apparently, I had, somehow along the way, injured or hyper extended the first joint of my middle toe, causing there to be a rupture in the sack around the joint. and it began leaking joint fluid. Your body reacts to joint fluid where it is not suppose to be by wanting to expel it at the closest place which, unfortunately was on the top of that toe. So the weird, ky jelly-like stuff that was coming out of my toe was actually joint lubrication…how fucked up is that. He drew my a nice picture and everything to help explain it all. He said that there were two options of treating it—either shooting it up Cortizone or opening the toe up and cauterizing it. I have to say that I am not a fan of having to “cauterize” anything—it sounds awful in and of itself. We went with the Cortizone shot which was going to help reduce inflamation and hopefully, help the joint sack repair itself…sounds yummy.

I like to consider myself a fairly tough woman. I’ve had a Cesarean section, had numerous teeth pulled and had five or more root canals. But for some reason, having a needle inserted into my foot several times was just a bit too much. Of course, they have to numb you up first. And they have to do it “slowly” which means sitting there for several minutes with a nurse holding the needle in place. Thank the gods, I was already sitting down because I became sweaty and cold and thought for sure I was going to pass out. Actually, I think the numbing shots were the worst part. The shot of Cortizone itself was not bad at all. Maybe that's because Dr. C was down there ever so gently poking my cyst—in all of his glory.

I have to say that my toe feels better now than it has for several months. No more oozing or screaming whenever it is bumped. And, in three weeks, it has to be rechecked by Dr. C—my newest heroe!! I’ll be looking forward to that visit.

Luckily, this has been my most urgent health issue lately. I recovered nicely from the gall bladder removal in September which along with my plain old laziness, has kept me away from "Blog World". And, lately, I have wanted to work on improving my health, since that is probably the only way I will ever get rid of the acid reflux and the high blood pressure--yet again physical manfestations of the stress of our society. I continue to be plugging away at improving my psyche through therapy. Someday I will be fully enlightened...right after, I have a smoke and some more junk food.