Chocolate Martinis and Tootsie Pops
I am sitting down to blog after consuming a chocolate martini sans vodka. Thanks for the drink idea, Depressionista--even though I couldn't bring myself to add vodka. It was so yummy without it and I think it had plenty of alcohol in it anyway. After the second sip I was already calling my husband "Baby"--the first indication that my inhibitions are leaving. My husband and I just finished helping our preschooler get his Valentines together for Valentine's Day on Wednesday. Valentines Day is one of the most commercial holidays ever. I stopped at the store and picked up some Tootsie Pops to put in the Valentine's Day. Of course, they make special cute Tootsie Pops in pink wrappers with hearts all over them. We stuck those in his Power Ranger's Valentines. I will never understand my kid's fasciniation with Power Rangers. He always wants Power Rangers stuff and we never watch it at home.
I was thinking about buying my husband a Valentines Day card when I was picking up the Tootsie Pops. They had some funny ones but I am always shocked at how much they want to charge for greeting cards....when I could make something up myself. I don't really feel like spending $5-6 on a card when I could get half a meal for him out somewhere for that. Plus, he is a man--initially, he appreciates getting the card but then several months later, I see it sitting on his table under a pile of bills....
I think I am going to make my own card this year. And say whatever crass, perverted thing I want in it. I am sure that you ladies out there would have some good ideas if you want to throw them at me. I am getting this thought ou
t there a bit late but better late than never.
t there a bit late but better late than never.You know the very unfortunate thing but really not that surprising ( since I get them often) is that I got a coldsore two days before Valentine's Day. I guess my husband won't get that blow job for Valentine's Day. I think we can work around it though!!
My first Valentines Day card idea for my husband:
Lucky for you Aunt Flow just left (outside)...Because a coldsore just arrived! Happy Valentines Day (inside)
Wow--that says it all for me this week so far!!
Happy V Day to you all!!
posted by Cass @ 6:04 PM
3 Comments:
Oh My you crack Me up .......karmagirl
Yes, I definitely think the coldsore should factor into your Valentine for hubby. I think it would be cool if you could put a photo of yourself on it and then put a little heart sticker over where the coldsore is...like it's a heart-shaped coldsore. Or you could draw a cartoon of yourself and add in the coldsore, all red and angry and heart-shaped. Then say something just like you did in the blog here, along the lines of:
"Guess you won't be getting that blow job for Valentine's Day...." and then on the inside say "...but you'll always have my heart." Or something totally cheesy like that.
Or: "Thanks for loving me, coldsores and all."
Or: "Since I have a coldsore, you won't be getting that blowjob..." and then on the inside "...but maybe, if you're good, I'll let you fuck me up the butt." (that one really cracked me up...ha ha, cracked me up, get it???)
You know, Tingle left a comment on my blog saying she wouldn't enjoy the vodka in the chocolate martini either. People have a real prejudice against vodka! I'm glad you still got a buzz, though.
Yeah, I hate Valentine's Day. As you know, J. and I make a point of not observing it, except for the occasional heart-shaped meatloaf.
First, I love the "choo-choo-choose you" card - my brother and I are always saying that from the Simpsons episode where Ralph gives Lisa that card. Classic! It's chee-chee-cheesy!
The cold sore one is great! Crass and suggestive and honest all in one!
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