"Hey, Let me see your tits!"

Well, I survived the wedding. It was quite the array of events and emotions.
Let me give you some of the hilights of the weekend.

• Friday was the rehearsal followed by the rehearsal dinner. Nothing to noteworthy other than my child was at the top of his game. He hit it off with the little flower girl right away and they were so cute walking down the aisle together. And it did not require any bribery.
• Saturday, the big day. We all had to be be ready for pictures by 2:30 and of course the wedding wasn't until 5pm. Getting a four-year-old into a tux is challenge enough in itself, let alone trying to get him to wear it for two hours before the wedding and have him still be in a good mood. He was very quickly reaching meltdown point. And it seemed everytime that he left the sanctuary during pictures and was in the bathroom they were wanting him for another round of pictures.
• The actual ceremony. A comedy of errors. Nothing too serious. The Bride knocked over a candleabra, a lit, one while walking down the aisle. An usher saved the day by grabbing it. The Bride tripped and almost fell over the alter.
  
• My son of course was on the verge of having a serious meltdown. We somehow force him to walk down the aisle. He stands there briefly. Comes back to sit next to us. And within about 5 minutes of sitting down he is out cold and sleeps through the entire ceremony.
  
• In the middle of all of this my husband, who is suppose to be filming the wedding has set up his camera at the front of the church, focusing it on the aisle. He is getting all freaked out because he is not focusing on anything else. He sneaks up and manages to get about 5 minutes of the end of the wedding focused on the bride and groom themselves.
• The reception. We drive out to the bar in a very small town where the bar is. My husband takes a look at the building and says "is this the delapidated building we are having this in?" I say "hell, yeah". The front room is a bar and the back is a reception hall. Myself and both of my brothers are "closet smokers" to the rest of the family. Of course my parents are there as well. So both of my brothers and myself spend time sneaking smokes in the front of the bar with "look-outs" making sure that they dont come out and catch us. How pathetic is that. There is some bumping and grinding on the dance floor while my parents are there but they manage to survive and leave around 10pmish.
• That is when the real party begins. My younger brother, the one not getting married, requests "I wanna fuck you like an animal" by Nine Inch Nails and sings over the top of it.
  
• My brothers and myself smoke freely in the bar. thank the gods!
• I am sitting next to the bride's sister and her husband sits down next to us. Keep in mind I have not had any real interaction with this guy and I am not really sure that he is aware that I am the sister of the man that married his wife's sister. He is drunk off of his ass. I am wearing my homemade dress, showing off a fair amount of cleavage, feeling pretty good about myself. He looks at me and repeatedly says to me, "Let me see your tits", everyonce in awhile asking his wife if this is ok, and she is so drunk that she says "sure". There are real mixed feelings that go along with some guy asking you if he can see your tits. For a few moments I actually felt attractive, like "hey, I havent had anyone ask to see my tits in a long time" (or maybe ever really). The part of me was totally repulsed and felt like some kind of object. And yet another part of me felt sorry for this pathetic bastard. So finally, I turn to Depressionista and say, "this guy is asking to see my tits, lets go back into the reception hall". I kept thinking "he has to give this up soon" but after about the 7th or 8th time he asked I gave up hope. The funny thing is the next day this guy and his wife (bride's sister) had to come over to my parents' house because the bride and groom were coming over to open gifts. They come in and they are totally standoffish, like he realized who I was and just what an ass he made of himself. Of course, I also took it upon myself to tell this incident to my brother..how could I not!? And he told his new wife...oh, the beauty of natural consequences. I didnt have to do a thing to show what an ass this guy is...it took care of itself...the beauty.
• wow, what a wild ride...Overall, it was a good time. I got to see the girls from the bachelorrette party, Depressionista, and party with my brothers...